Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
