fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
