When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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