i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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