There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
