it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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