I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
