How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
