Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
