I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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