Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You're like the curious george of whores
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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