did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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