im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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