I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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