That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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