My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
