haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Who wears a wallet chain?!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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