I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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