Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
