he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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