One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
