I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
