highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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