So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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