It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
