U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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