would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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