Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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