I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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