Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
