So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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