paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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