yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
