and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
