Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
