I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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