So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
