Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
