8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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