the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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