Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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