Having a random hookup so left but love u
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
