i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
