I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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