walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize