her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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