officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize
