There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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