Christians are straight up FREAKS
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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