I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
