So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i out mim tonsoeep
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