Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
