Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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