if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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