Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
