i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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