Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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