What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my sisters under your porch take her home
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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