This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
