you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize