I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
the liver wants what the liver wants
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
